Dear Pilot Wife of Wisdom,

Dear Pilot Wife of Wisdom 2,

You’re quite impressive as a PW wife and mom! While I’ve been a PW for 20+ years, I still struggle to be a virtuous woman as you are. You have wisdom in so many areas of being a godly PW. I’ve been wondering how I can do the same.

I aspire to be a wife and mother of noble character like you.

You are trustworthy, responsible, and sacrificial with purchases as well you are a fantastic cook with providing healthy meals for your family. I’ve heard from others who say you are savvy when it comes to purchases and what an excellent cook you are!

Your hospitality toward others shows a warmth about you that I hope to copy in life; especially family and friends when they arrive at our home, planned or unexpected. I hope to follow in your footsteps in areas of managing your household.   I’ve read how you use your talents and work hard. What an incredible example you are to your children!

I honestly don’t know how you do it all. You are such a wonderful example of someone who takes care of her health and body in ways that reap a positive benefit, who is a likable friend, mom, and wife to be around and who does everything with a joyful heart.  When you’re too tired to wash another dish or bake brownies for a school party, you never complain you keep doing what is needed. The compassion and grace that you bestow is something I hope to follow. 

As a PW, I love how your husband has full confidence in you when those unexpected water emergencies occur or when your children get sick.  When his unpredictable schedule pops up on your radar, the check-list you run to at a moment’s notice is remarkable.

When I look at you, I see an elegant PW. You have impeccable style, and your appearance is always impressive. I feel better about myself when I’ve taken the time to dress nicely and tidy up the house in the morning. It doesn’t happen every day,  especially when my pilot is away, but you take pride in painting a beauty about you and your home for your husband.

I’ve read so many things about you, but of everything I’ve read, this is my favorite:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her works have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:10-31)

So how do you do it all? Maybe you could offer me some wisdom in these areas?

In your Marriage … 

One of the things I love about you is the attention you shower on your spouse. He is respected amongst his peers and receives many praises. I struggle to provide the attention at times to my husband when he needs it, or even to take the time to set up a date night with him. I will admit I have moments of being selfish with what I want.

1. How do you wake up early and make him breakfast before he leaves at that dreadful hour of 0-dark early?

2. How do you find time for him when he’s home and show ways to love him and care for his needs or to sit with him over coffee or a glass of wine? Especially with little people running around wanting your attention as well?

3. When he is home and leaves all his laundry on the floor or his suitcase in the one place where you don’t see it, what do you do?

Self-care and time for yourself …

I’ve read that you take time to care for yourself and it shows not only with your family but others as well.

1. How do you choose your words wisely?

2. Does your husband say you are beautiful? Especially when you have food stains on your shirt or your hair is not brushed cause you forgot.

3. Can you offer suggestions in ways that I may be able to find time for myself?

4. Do you sometimes want to eat cheesecake or a chocolate chip cookie and have a glass of red wine then cry later cause you to feel fat?

5. After cleaning and preparing for the next day do you sometimes feel like flying away to Costa Rica and not telling anybody? I know I do from time to time.  ( Is that bad?)

With Mothering …

1. Do your children raise and call you blessed?  How does that happen? The getting them to rise out of bed, that is?

2. As your children grow-up do you find yourself getting less strict, then when you were with your first born?

3. How do you teach your children to work hard and show love for others?

4. How do you encourage them to have confidence in themselves as they grow up in ways that God has created them to be?

I mean, you make it seem so easy it intimidates me! How can I ever live up to be the awesome mother that you are?

  While I have million more questions than these three topics, I’d also love to get your input on these things:

  • Can you offer suggestions for preparing healthy meals for my family?
  • Do you have advice on how to be creative in my spending and choosing wisely on big purchases?
  • Can you help me be more productive and manage my time better, especially while I’m flying solo-parent a few times a week?

I’d love it if you took the time to write me back and give me your advice. I’ll be checking my inbox regularly, waiting to hear from you!

-An ever hopeful PW

Love for you to jump on over to my Facebook page .  A place where you find connection, encouragement and learn from one another.

Where To Find Your Bravery

As my husband and I walked up to the other passengers that we would travel with to the ATM in Belize, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was the ugly duckling in the group. While they all looked athletically fit in their swim shorts and swim rash guards, I realized I didn’t have the proper attire for our excursion. They one thing I had going for me was the right pair of shoes.  It was going to be a long day for me.

 

Where You Find Your Bravery.

For over an hour that morning, I suffered from fear, sweating profusely and trying to ignore the growing knots in my stomach as we traveled to our destination. After we piled out of the van, our most excellent and knowledgable guide directed us to the change in the bathroom. When I made my way in the bathroom to change into my swimsuit, I could taste the tears flowing down my cheeks.  Rather than doing what I was supposed to, I created a long list of reasons why I couldn’t go and prayed my husband would believe me. ( yeah, I should’ve known that wouldn’t go over well with him.)

Fear controls us in so many ways. And it definitely had its control on me right then.

When I finally climbed over my fear, I was able to face challenges I’d never encountered before.

First of all, there were three rivers to cross to get to the cave. Girlfriend, I held on for dear life to the rope for my river crossing.  Then I was afraid of tripping on rocks and falling.  Not only that, the only way into the dark cave was to swim in waist-high water while wearing your helmet.

Within a few minutes of water crossing as the water rose to my chest, I then had to fit through crevices with a sharp-edged rock sticking out.  I was scared!  The only thing I could do was trust the guide and know that my husband was right behind me.

ATM Cave

This photo is from Pinterest. To give you a real picture of what I had to do – this is it!

Want to know what’s really funny about all this? I was the one who wanted to take this trip. I had a romantic vision of having quality time with Jeff and experiencing a sense of being in the jungle and nature of Belize. Well, I experienced nature to the fullest.

Jungle Bravery

1. Being brave is listening to those voices of courage. While I was crying in the bathroom ready to wimp out, I needed to focus on trusting the expert guide and my husband. Above all else, I needed to trust God. He knew I was about to cross rivers and enter a dark, scary cave. He would be waiting to greet me on the other side in new ways I never thought possible.

2.  Let other’s bravery encourage you.  When I witnessed the other travelers with us, I saw them being brave and sure of the outcome, so in essence, it made me want to be as well. As I was maneuvering through those rocks and dark waters, it became a domino effect as I saw them do the same thing.

3. Conquer those brave moments without fear. I entered into the cave of the unknown and climbed boulders that required strength. I could have easily said, “No, not doing it,” but instead I focused on what our guide was telling me.

When I walked out of that 3-mile cave, I never thought going on the trip and conquering something like that would have such a profound effect on me. When I made my way out of that large cave, I cried. The tears that streamed down my face were not the tears of sorrow. They were the tears of courage and confidence.

When you walk through the rivers

Each one of us has caves to scale and rivers to cross. They may not all look the same, but take comfort in knowing you’re not alone.  You may be knee-deep in the waters raising kids as a solo parent, dealing with a sick family member, or putting on a brave face with friends when you’re struggling. Regardless of what you are facing, you can be brave and walk on the other side of your challenges stronger and more courageous.

How? Here are a few ideas to help you with whatever you’re facing:

1. Find those friends/wives who have traveled before you. Trying to handle it all is hard and challenging. Seek out others who can offer you support in ways that can help you through rough rivers.  “Encourage each other and build each other up.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

2. Be encouraged. When you are afraid of not knowing what do remember to put courage in your bag cause that’s the way to get courage out.  “Do not be discouraged for I am with you. (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

3. Remember that you are strong. The fear of a struggle can cause panic. We feel we don’t have the strength to overcome an obstacle or a challenging time. It ’s then we need to shift during those times. To remember to shift our view of ourselves to Christ and to rely on his strength and wisdom.  “For God has not given us the sprint of fear, but power love and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

 “Courage is not the absence of fear.  It’s moving forward despite those fears, trusting in God’s help.”Where You Find Your Bravery. (2)

Right footing required

Our guide and my God knew that the path was not going to be easy.   It was going to be rocky, and we would face challenges, including large boulders!

These obstacles reminded me of a verse that I have on a wooden pallet in my home: “He makes my feet of a deer, he causes me to stand on the heights.”  (Psalm 18-3 NIV)

This verse reminds me that when I fly into my fear or discouragement whether it be my parenting, caring for a family member or dealing with a  struggle in my marriage, God gives me the kind of feet I need at that particular moment.

When I swam into that unknown, our wise guide and God knew it wasn’t going to be a calming excursion.

So often we want our path to be flat, wide and smooth and peaceful. But God says it isn’t like that. Usually, the road is turbulent with a strong wind gust that takes us to unexpected places.

With the right footing that God gives us, we can handle those times of uncertainty and fear. That day in the bathroom I should’ve asked God to provide me with the right feet for the path. Even though I failed to ask, He was gracious enough to give them to me anyway. I  just didn’t realize it.

What kind of path are you facing today? Are you trying to venture to the right or the left of where God wants you to be? Or are you asking God that whatever path or cave you find yourself in that you have the right kind of footing to make you bold and courageous?

We all face those boulders and challenges in our lives. Just remember that we’ve all been there.  If you’re struggling, you’ve come right place; a place filled with love and encouragement.

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Our trip was a lot of fun and Jeff, and I had a great time reconnecting. After our adventure in the cave, he shared this post on his Facebook page… Tiff read ahead on Pinterest while Jeff skimmed some reviews on trip advisor for the ATM (short for long, confusing Mayan sentence) cave tour. She was better prepared than I to swim the river, wade the river, wade the river again, hike a few miles, then go swimming and climbing under over and through crevasses and gymnasium-sized chambers filled with water or Mayan artifacts. They don’t allow cameras in there anymore because people were trying to get good pictures are stupid and literally broke skulls (ancient dead ones mostly). My reward was a beer with lunch. Her reward for being such a brave trooper and holding my hand in the scary cave was dinner at a lovely place. I can afford it here in Belize.

 

IMG_3765  Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

Love for you to jump on over to my Facebook page .  A place where you find connection, encouragement and learn from one another.

When Was Your Last Yes?

Have you heard the saying, “Let your no be no and your yes be yes”? Last week I owned my no and my yes! It felt good to do that.

If I said, ”No” I would’ve have missed out on something beautiful.

Like any other workday, my husband called me around 4:30 pm when he had landed.  Seeing his name on my phone, I was ready to walk out the door to make my way to the airport to bring him home. However, the second I answered, he informed me that he was rerouted.  He went on to say that he’d made a listing for me to fly away with him on an 18 hour overnight!  Before I could decline his offer, he asked me to make arrangements at the kennel for the dog,  pack an overnight bag, and meet him at the airport at 6:00. Our flight was leaving at 7:30.

Saying yes post

Girlfriend, I had to move fast! There was no time for me to think about all the reasons for saying no, cause I had a few:

1. The Kennel would be closing at 5:30. There was no way they would let me bring the dog in this late, let alone have room for her. (They did!)

2. I’d made plans to go over to a girlfriend’s house where she had put together a little gathering for us wedge of friends at 6:00. I knew my PW girlfriend would understand. When I texted her about this unexpected adventure with my pilot, she encouraged me to go, go, go!

3. And if  I were to say yes, how am I going to pack a bag in less than an hour? While at the same time thinking of things I had not gotten done and trying to remember if I’d brought my make-up and deodorant.  Deodorant was important cause I was sweating with nerves.

4. What if I went to all this trouble only to arrive at the airport to find out that Jeff had been rerouted again and I was left alone with my luggage?

Do you ever have those silly thoughts or reasons to say no?

To ease your mind, all went according to plan, and my navigator swept me off my feet for an overnight. It was a first in a looooong time.

My yes was beautiful!Saying yes post (2)

Sometimes plan, sometimes wing it

I’m all about planning, but there are times, many times, that I will sabotage the idea of winging it, only to regret later that I did.

I can’t remember the last time I flew off on an overnight with my husband, much less be on the same airplane he was flying. That was the icing on the cake!  We had the best time, laughing, talking, and just being together.  That wouldn’t have happened if I’d waited to plan out the event rather than acting spontaneously.

In her book, “The Best Yes,” Lysa Terkeurst says, “If we are going to live in the thrilling place of Best Yes opportunities, we must cut the but of lies chaining us to insecurities.” How many times have I let “but” stand in my way? But this, but that, but I need.

Every time I make a choice saying no to something to say yes or visa verse, I’m choosing to make something a little different than before, like I did this past weekend. I hope I’m learning to do it more so in the future.  That call that I thought was to pick up Jeff made a sudden spontaneous turn around; this time I was driving to the airport to take-off with him.

How to carry your yes bag

The other day I landed on a verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG):

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

That afternoon, it wasn’t for me to figure everything out on my own, even though my heart started beating fast and my brain started thinking, “ Oh my, I can’t do this; I don’t have time.”

It was then that I took a deep breath, listened to my heart (which was saying, “Go!”) and made memories that will last a lifetime.

We seem to always hear or read reasons to say no, but what about yes?

Saying yes post (1)Saying yes is about being courageous to do the things that we want to do. Let’s face it sometimes we say no cause of fear. 

Why do we do that?

1. We tuck away that opportunity because we believe it’s not the perfect timing. When was the last time it was the perfect timing to go on a trip? Say yes to meeting a friend for coffee or dinner? When I say no to something, I usually regret missing out on the fun.

2. There are always reasons to say no. A no should be clear and obvious. We know when we should say no to something, but shouldn’t we also listen to our little cheerleader inside of us for the yes from time to time? We know she is often correct.  My cheerleader had her pompoms and was cheering me to take that flight. When I had little ones at home, it was hard to do things on spur of the moment. I’ve been there- many times! All I can say is to listen to that inner cheerleader.

3. Opportunities don’t always come again like this. I would’ve regretted not saying yes when my husband took the controls in planning an overnight that I could go on.  He saw the opportunity and embraced it. I needed to do the same. When those invitations arise, it does take effort and planning, but in the end, it’s worth it.  PW, I’ve learned that the hard way.

 In what ways can you say yes when the spontaneous arrives at your doorstep? You might have to say no to something, but in the end, I’m sure it would be beautiful. 

IMG_3765 Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

Love for you to jump on over to my Facebook page .  A place where you find connection, encouragement and learn from one another.

How to Finish What You Started.

Writing at the kitchen table, I’m also listening for the soft chime of the washing machine, checking emails, and avoiding my sweet dog who’s looking at me wistfully for a walk.

How am I supposed to finish a blog post on finishing what you start, when I’m being bombarded with distractions? It’s not easy, but for the sake of my readers and editor, I’m going to get it done!

how to finish what you started.

 

The unfinished project

To be honest, finishing projects is something I struggle with. Ten years ago, yes, ten – I had a strong desire to form a community with other pilot wives. So, I hired a life coach to help me clarify what it was I wanted to share with other wives. Over a decade my vision has traveled into a few areas:

  1. Wanting to put together a forum of veteran PW’s to speak to those that have just begun their own flight plan of a PW.
  2. Write a book about the Twelves steps of a Pilot Wife. However, I have learned there are more than 12 steps, much more!

However, just as I was starting, I stopped before I could finish. Ever been there? It was discouraging.

The vision that I had those many years ago got re-routed, and some have vanished into mid-air. I was raising three kids and raising a little boy (my husband’s nephew).  Also, I’d had faced some problematic roadblocks in my health that kept me from focus in on those goals that I had started for myself.

While the passion for my goals has never diminished, I’ve learned how I can keep striving for them.

The question you need to be asking

The last few weeks I’ve been reading a lot about goals and finishing what you start. The question that kept landing in my reading was to ask yourself, what is important right now? I would say there are three important things to me right now:

1. To finish that book I started a decade ago.  Having finally discovered my voice, I’m confident of what I want to share and convey. I’ve decided to write a memoir about being a pilot’s wife. I’m currently taking classes and have registered for more workshops to help me write my story.

2. To finish my painting projects. Last summer I painted our dining room and promised myself I would paint the kitchen as well. It’s still not painted. I also need to touch up a few spots on the wall over our fireplace. I currently have the paint and paintbrush sitting on the floor. That was three weeks ago! 

3. To organize my closet and kitchen so they function as they should. I’ve read all the magazines, watched all the HGTV shows, and even followed advice from the pros, such as my editor, who also happens to be an organizer.  I have every intention of applying what I’ve learned, but then, like Scarlett O’Hara, I tell myself I’ll get to it tomorrow. Sadly, I never do.

How to cross the finish line

As I take the time to reestablish the projects I once started, I have found ways to complete them in a way that is doable for me.  Here are a few things that might help you, too, as you seek to finish what your start:

1. Identify what’s keeping you from finishing. If you have little ones, find a friend to watch them for a few hours. Or be vocal in letting your family know what you want to accomplish and see how they can help. Or ask that they leave you and alone for a while!

2.  Keep your vision in front of you. Create a poster board with pictures of what finishing your project looks like or take a piece of paper and simply list those things left for you to do.

3. Stop thinking it has to be all or nothing. If you want to conquer your closet or your desk take small steps in achieving your goal. Sometimes incremental progress can make the biggest difference. 

4. Be flexible. Remember you don’t have to do everything in the right order. Maybe do what will take the least time and stress. Be flexible in the management approach of your to-do list.

5. Research what it is you want to accomplish. Learn from others what helped them succeed in how they achieved their goals. Ask for advice and support from your friends and family.

how to finish what you started. (1)

Are you up to the challenge?

In his book The Best Year Ever, Michael Hyatt says, “To accomplish anything we have to believe we’re up for the challenge. That doesn’t mean it will be easy or that we even know we’re going to accomplish it. Usually, we don’t know. It just means we are capable; we have what it takes to prevail.”

For me, writing a book is a huge undertaking but a challenge I’m ready to tackle. I know there will be obstacles. Every goal has them. But it’s how we work through those obstacles that will help us see the end in sight.

Do you have something that’s left unfinished?  A project you started years ago, or even just a few days ago? Hopefully, these tips will help you overcome the obstacles standing in your way and allow you to finally cross the finish line!

Love to hear about your projects, big or small. I know you have them.

I’m sure we can all learn from each other and offer encouragement and love.

Jump over to my Facebook page and let’s continue the conservation and talk about those unfinished projects. 

 

IMG_3765  Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

The Six Things I’m Packing This Year?

Do you have a particular way you pack your suitcase? 

Do you pre-plan what you’re going to take weeks in advance or, PW, do you fly by the seat of pants?

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Me? I’m a plan-ahead packer.  I check the weather for my upcoming destination (usually ten days in advance), gather my 2-oz bottles and mentally begin deciding which outfits I want to take.  I’m sure it drives my husband crazy.  After all, he does travel on a weekly basis, and half of his stuff is already in a bag.

 While it may be easy for our pilots to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice, we PW’s many of us may not be so adventurous. But this year I want to flip the switch. I want to say, “Where are going and what do I need to pack?” when my husband invites me with him on a trip. It won’t be easy to do this, but I think it will grow me and our marriage as well.

My packing list for 2019

For the New Year, my goal is to pack items that will get me out of my comfort zone. When 2019 comes to a close, I hope that I will have grown and matured into an accomplished traveler God intended me to be. And I learned to pack without overthinking my choices. 

I’m choosing this new way of traveling because last year was a challenging, yet encouraging year for me. I finally found my writing voice. (I still need that extra voice of from editor, but I’ve found my own to share with others.)

Whether we realize it or not, all of us are approaching a new year with new arrivals in our lives.

That means we might need to pack a little differently going forward. For me,  I’m going to make sure I have the following with me whenever I had out on a journey.

 1.The idea that  I don’t have to conquer “everything” at once. Jeff and I have entered the Empty Nest season of life…  Do I have to have it all figure out immediately? No!  I had one PW tell me to relish in the spontaneity, have no agenda and think of ourselves as newlyweds. It’s a process, and it takes time to adjust.

2. To not immediately say no to new opportunities just because I don’t know the outcome. I want to be flexible and dare to try something different. When Jeff says we’re going someplace warm, I’m going to have my swimsuit ready, even though I don’t feel pretty enough.

3. To not overthink past failures and regrets.  In the past, I often compared myself to other women and believed that I wasn’t a good mom. Many times I wouldn’t speak up as a wife and admit to needing help or wanting my own joy. This year, I’m letting that go and promising myself to be more vocal of my needs rather than stuffing them in a bag.

4. To be true to me.  If I had a one-word mantra for the new year, I immediately said, “My voice.” In 2018 I found my voice in so many different ways, and I want to continue strengthening in 2019.

5. To not get so wrapped up in the jacket of discouragement. Instead of wrapping myself in defeat, I want to wear the coat of encouragement that reminds me I’m doing what is best for my child. Yes, my son is at boarding school. Having him attend this school will be awesome for him in so many areas of his teenage life. I want the best for my son. I want him to excel and shine into what God has for him. 

6. Find a sense of adventure and be willing to take risks. My girls told me over the holidays that I needed to revisit that girl.  They encouraged me to take that trip to Paris, go out on date nights and be bold in voicing what I want. They both unanimously said, “Its time, Mom, its time!”

6 things i will pack 2019

 

 

A new bag for 2019 

So my fellow PW’s, when you pull out your suitcase to a new destination, pick out the things that will bring you boldness, the willingness to be flexible and spontaneous and adventurous.  More importantly, the one outfit that makes you, you!

 

 

 

How will you pack for 2019? What goals do you hope to accomplish, or what word will guide as your travel through the year? Leave a comment; I’d love to hear what it is!

Happy New Year!

Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

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What Are You Waiting for This Christmas?

Hope.

Peace.

Love.

Joy.

In preparation for Christmas this year, my goal was to focus on these four words. Not only that, I wanted to see how these Christmas promises intersected with what I’m currently needing and waiting for.

These last few months I’ve been yearning for hope, seeking peace, trying to find that loving feeling and waiting for the joy to overtake me. There are moments when they come, and when they are fleeting. 

To help me re-discover these things, I planned to sit in my chair with a cup of coffee and read a daily devotional to welcome in the season of Advent. (This is a great book to learn more about Advent).IMG_0504

But you know what they say about the best of intentions … and unfortunately, I haven’t been fully committed to reading my Advent devotions as I had hoped for. When I do sit down, within minutes my thoughts turn to what needs to done right now from my never-ending to-do list.

Ever been there?

While I haven’t focused on these words as I’d planned, I have still managed to figure out a few things in respect to them.

What I need

I’m not sure why this always happens to me at Christmas, but as I reflect on things this holiday season, I see that I have experienced some of these things already:

1. Hope. God knows my struggles and frustrations. He offers me hope in the difficult times. Recently,  I‘ve shared some struggles we’re having with our son. In the last few weeks, God has placed people in my path to offer me support, and hope. They’ve shared their own stories of struggles with their child. I’m forever blessed God brought those mamas to me.

2. Peace. The peace I receive from His equipping is what allows me to survive each day. He brings me encouragement in areas where I need it most.  It gets me through those moments where I want to yell and lose my mom cool or beat myself up cause I feel I’m failing as a writer when I can’t focus.

3.  Love. I try finding love in all circumstances and focus on the blessings. God’s direction can sometimes be hard, but in those circumstances, God loves me and has a plan. Not only for me but those I love as well.

4. Joy. The joy I have when I see a smile or hear “I love you” from my children and husband. It’s in those little moments that I’m reminded that joy comes at times of unexpected moments.

Let me ask you, as you reflect on these four things – hope, peace, love, and joy – how have they been supplied to you this holiday season or this past year?

It’s important that we take time to look back so we can better plan and anticipate what is to come.

What I’m hoping for

I don’t know about you, but this time of year I think about what God has blessed me with and how He has traveled alongside me during seasons of stress and worry.

As we get closer to Christmas, and the New Year approaches, I have faith God has it all planned out. He knows the steps I’m to take, the prayers I’ve lifted to Him. More importantly, that I’m to trust him.

 

This coming year I’ve been in prayer about what is to come…

1. A New Hope. I’ve had a few mentors (excellent, God-fearing friends) tell me I have a story to share. A story of hope, healing, faith, and encouragement. Now it’s time to make the commitment and share it.  In the new year, I will be focusing on writing a memoir of how God has brought me healing and hope.

2.  A New Peace. To have peace that I’m a good mom. God has a plan for my son. I’m to trust that God has it all under control. My son has his own story, and it’s just beginning.

3.  A New Love. Date my husband. Whether it’s going on spontaneous trips to a warm destination or putting those golf lessons to use and playing 18 holds with him, I want to have fun with my pilot and shower love on him.

4. A New Joy. Discover an unexpected joy in trying new things and entering a new season of my life.

As we travel into the new year, do you find yourself hoping to bring a dream to life, for peace in a situation, experiencing love on a new level, or rekindling the joy you once had, but hope to see again? Don’t worry you’re not alone! We are all traveling this journey together!

My hope as we celebrate Christmas and approaching of a new year is that we each find a renewal of hope, peace love and joy.

Isn’t that what we all want as we travel into 2019? Please say ‘Yes’, because I want that for us too!

But these things may take time to meet us, and that’s okay. Waiting is hard, but it’s always worth it. In her book, Come Lord Jesus: The weight of Waiting, Kris Camerly writes, “The advent season provides us beautiful, and sometimes difficult, opportunities to practice waiting. We won’t do it perfectly. There will likely be more tasks, more invitations and more opportunities for distraction on our calendars then we can manage.” Oh, but when the wait is over, it’s glorious!!

So when it comes to hope, peace, love, and joy, what is it you need and what is it you hope for? Leave a comment and let’s share and encourage one another!

And finally….

Merry Christmas, my PW.  May you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

P.S. Be on the lookout for new things with Take-off and Landings for 2019!

LOVE FOR YOU TO FLY ON OVER TO MY FACEBOOK PAGE.  

IMG_3765  Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

 

 

A Present of Perspective.

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Nestled in a comfy spot on the couch with my iPad, I was about to click on Pinterest and look for tree ideas for a Farm House Christmas when my husband comes into the living room with an announcement.  He suddenly has a great idea about the master bath downstairs and suggests we move our bedroom to the first floor.  He gave me a whole plan of what we could do. 

What? I just wanted to figure out where to put a Christmas tree.

Within minutes my thoughts went from a Christmas tree to a bathroom makeover.  Do you want to know what my first concern was when he landed the idea into my lap?

The downstairs bathroom only has one sink! How am I going to go to his and her sink and abundant counter space to one sink?  Not only that, if we move our master bedroom downstairs, it means I have to move my office upstairs. What will happen to my sanctuary?

Here I was merely thinking about where to put the Christmas tree.  Maybe I should just put the tree in the bathroom and call it done. (hahaha)

So for the last few days, I have been thinking about a bathroom remodel and where to put the tree. Both of them require rearranging things.  I tend to rearrange things in my home as therapy.  Though, right now, I see a different kind of treatment may be with wine.

The view I wish to have

I once read If you want a different perspective change your view.  Let’s face it a new bathroom and rearranging the furniture for the Christmas tree will definitely change my view.

But I’m also praying for a new perspective on some big decisions and new paths that God has me on. All of which overwhelm me. Honestly, I could use a new perspective in quite a few areas this time of year:

1.Holiday expectations. I have hopes of how our home will look to who will be here.  How much are we going to spend on our kids and family? Since Jeff’s schedule changes from year to year, will we do family dinner or breakfast this time of year? My expectations might need a new view this holiday season.

2. A new remodel.  Not only for the bathroom but for me as well. It will mean new surroundings, a different view than what I have now. If you know me, I’m not good with change. How am I going to adjust to having a less counter space to share? It’s called flexibility. 

3.A change of plans. What does God have for me right now in this season of my life? I’ve been thinking more and more about writing a memoir and the commitment that it would take.  Not only that, there are changes I want to make in my ministry to my PW tribe.

As I walk through these changes, it’s a good reminder that the best growth comes from rearranging and looking at things from a different view than before.  When we see the finished product, we find a surprising joy that we didn’t expect.

The outcome will be beautiful 

When I shared this story with a close friend of mine, she reminded me that finding that perfect place for the tree to remodeling a room in my home can be chaotic.

She also encouraged me to be open to a new outlook of what God has planned.  Cause life is a story. You have a start, a little conflict, and obstacles to overcome all of which lead to a beautiful ending that you didn’t expect.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29;11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29;11Text placeholder

 

God gives me hope to what is to come.  A beautiful arrangement of his forever love and blessing. Although I’m fretting about these things, I’m grateful God has a plan, His perspective on how things will be.

Just like when my husband comes to me and says that we should toy with the idea of redoing the bathroom and moving our bedroom downstairs, there is a plan in the making.   But all I can see is chaos and construction.

 

Isn’t in those times we should open our minds and hearts to welcome those changes?

My PW, are you looking for a new perspective on something?  If so, let me assure you’re not alone!

This holiday season I pray you find a new way of looking at things, be open to change, and expect the unexpected. Maybe some of them will come with a big red bow around them.

If you have any rearranging to do or remodeling projects on the horizon, leave me a comment below. That way we can commiserate together!

Love for you to fly on over to my facebook page.  

 

IMG_3765 Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

Have a Favorite Place to Sit?

Have a Favorite Place to Sit _

Do you have a favorite place to sit? Your go-to chair at home or let’s be real — your favorite seat on the airplane?

A few years ago when we finally made our arrival in our new house in Houston, Texas, I asked my mom, if I could have my Nana’s chair. It’s a chair that my Nana had when she was a little girl. I bet if the chair could talk there would be amazing stories to share. It has the smell of my Nana and my mom.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has that one place that we call ours. It’s in those seats you feel comfortable, secure, and it feels right.  Kind of like Goldie Locks finding her just right chair to sit in. “Ahhh, this chair is just right,” she sighed. 

However, when Miss Goldie settled into her chair, it broke. I can relate.

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Every morning you can find me sitting in my favorite chair with a warm cup of coffee and having my quiet time in my cocoon of warmth and love. Because I’ve occupied the chair so much, it’s showing some wear — the seat cushion needs more bounce, the springs are getting loose, and the floral material has slowly been fading.  It’s time for me to give it some TLC and have it recovered.

To be honest, I have avoided reupholstering it. That would mean my chair would be gone and I would have no place to sit. But when I spotted the perfect fabric and color for my chair on sale, I knew it was time for me to let go. Within a week, I’d found a trusted upholsterer and shipped my beloved chair off for a new life.

Where do I sit now?

For the past few weeks now, I’ve been without my chair. Quite frankly, I have no idea where to sit or find an area in my house where it feels right.

I told my mom, “I have no idea where to go in the morning and drink my coffee. The smell of Nana, you and the cocoon of warmth is gone.” She laughingly told me that the next time she’s at my house, she will sit in the chair and cover it with her smell.  All I can say is I’m holding her to that!

While I know this is not a first world problem, it feels like it. I don’t know where to sit! My morning routine and the predictability of sitting with my coffee has been disrupted.  I know it’s only temporary, but it feels like this void will last forever.

Time to get out of your comfort zone.

“Life is full and overwhelming with the new. But its necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter.” Eileen Caddy

Letting go of our comforts isn’t easy. I’m learning that every day my chair is not here with me. As much as I crave the comfort of my favorite spot, I know that the only way to make way for the new is to let go of the old. 

We need to re-evaluate why and seek out areas where we can renew our thoughts or actions for whatever God has for us.

Recently I’ve been contemplating  ( you can read more here)-my writings, my parenting and my desire to find something that gives me belonging.

Whether it’s letting go of a particular item, an unhealthy behavior or negative thinking, removing these things allows us to open our hands and lives to the better things God has for us.

For me, I found that not only do I need to move out of my favorite seat for a while, I also need to get rid of some other things as well:

1. I will sit down at my desk to write AFTER I’ve cleaned the kitchen put a load of laundry in the washer or catch up on all the social media happenings.  But that isn’t helping me become a better writer.  I need to schedule my writing time with a red pen and commit to it.

2.Thoughts of being perfect. I tend to think that I have to be the ideal mom. The truth is I screw up, and I don’t have it all together. I’m not perfect, and neither are my kids, but thankfully God is.  He knows what’s best for us and loves us anyway.

      3. My unwillingness to change. Often it takes stepping out of our comfort zones for us to discover new things. For me, I need to embrace the new season of life I’m in whether it’s volunteering or enjoying a hobby with my pilot, if I insist on staying where I’m at, I’ll miss out on some amazing adventures.

In what ways do you need to make changes in these areas? Are there things you feel that you need to let go of to make room for your best life?

Girl, life can be full and overwhelming at times, especially when changes are involved. But don’t let those things keep you tied down. You and I were meant to fly. Sometimes though, that can only happen when we let go.

When I finally get my new chair, I know it won’t be the exact same as it was. I will  have to create my own smell, warmth, and comfort (although I’m tempted to call my mom to come to sit in it a while! )

But when I settle into it, I’ll know that whether I’m evaluating my writing, my parenting or something that gives me belonging, I’ll look at them with a new perspective.

All from a chair with a new pattern and comfort of its own.

Let’s discuss and see how we can expand on this a bit.

 

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fullsizeoutput_4b1  Take-off and Landings, Always Tiffany

How to Discover Your Next Steps When You’re Re-routed.

 

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If I had a dollar whenever someone asked me where Jeff was flying to, I’d be one wealthy woman!  The majority of the time, I tell people, “I have no idea. His route changes all the time because of weather, late arrivals, or they need him to fly a different trip then was scheduled. There’s no set route.” ( Go here to read more PW questions I get asked.)

As much as we like predictability in life, we know that life is anything but predictable. There are always constant changes and re-routes thrown our way.

So, my PW girlfriend, let me ask you… Do you fly the same route? Do you have a specific itinerary for your day, your week, or even the next five years?

I know, I know. You must be thinking – Wait, you’re kidding, right?

I feel as if I always have to shift my routing from one place to another. Whether it’s five minutes, a week, or the next five years, I’m still thinking and praying about what’s next.

What’s the best route for me?

This morning I listened to a podcast, “Girls Night Out,” with Stephanie Wilson.  The guest speaker was Emily P. Freeman, who was sharing how she discovered what the “Next Right Thing” was for her. In other words, what is the next best route for me at this time in my life,  and for the season I’m in?

Listening to Emily, I started to question what my next step was. What do I need to be doing or changing in my life right now? It can be making goals you want to accomplish, losing weight, pursuing a career, or opening a business. It’s your journey.

next steps re-routed

  What’s my direction?

We all find ourselves planning, preparing, and making a check-list for our day-to-day operations. But when life throws us off course, and we are to figure out how to bring back focus, that’s when Emily said, “Ask yourself what makes sense to me today?”

Thinking about that, I asked myself what makes the most sense for me right now and remembered I needed to take the clothes out of the dryer. ( literally, I was thinking that)

But yet, I still have more important questions about the bigger things in my life. What makes sense for me to focus on today or a month from now, six months, or even a year from now?

Recently I’ve struggled to figure out what’s next in certain aspects of my life. To be honest, some of them cause my anxiety levels to rise, but at the same time, I find myself more courageous as I pursue the things that really matter to me :

1. What to do about my writing journey? I’ve been writing continuously for a year now, and I’ve seen myself evolving and changing the way I think and write. I’ve been more willing to share my struggles and vulnerability that wasn’t there before. Don’t get me wrong I still struggle with opening up my heart. But as I sit down at my computer and search for the words that will bring hope and love to other women, I’m compelled to keep moving forward.

2. What can I do to bring hospitality back into my life?  A Book Club, Supper Club, something that allows me to open my heart and doors to a community of women who enjoy reading, eating, and sharing the love of God. But being hospitable requires courage to step out, invite others to join me, and let go of my control. (which is a whole another  story!).

3. What is the next step in my season of parenting a teenage boy? I often find myself on my knees, praying for wisdom and direction. At the moment, I’m fearful of where God’s path may be in leading us concerning our son’s next season of life. Letting go and trusting that God knows what is my son’s best thing is hard.

When is all said and done, the heart question I need to be asking is: Am I willing to change my route, or am I going to stay grounded in fear?  Sometimes that is a difficult question to ask.

These are the things that have me questioning my current flight path and the possibility of re-routing. I have to approach things differently as a woman, a mom, and a wife. For you, it might be something else.

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There are days when turbulent moments/events will happen.  When they do, I remind myself  of one of my favorite go-to verses: “Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.” Proverbs 3:6 CEV 

When it comes to offering advice on the best possible route or step someone should take, I’ll admit, I’m no expert. When I question my path, I rely on God to show me. He always makes it clear to me what my next route is.

What will you choose when things change, and you’ve to consider when life is re-routed? What will be your next step be?

fullsizeoutput_4b1   Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

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When Staying Calm as a PW Matters.

staying calm (1)My daughter was two-year-old, and I’d made plans to meet my girlfriend, Melissa, for dinner. Within minutes of having drinks delivered to our table, my beautiful little girl spilled a full glass of coke and “something” all over my side of the table where the whole drink made its way to my pants and the seat I was in.

So what did I do?

I immediately grabbed a few napkins and moved my daughter out of range of the spill and began cleaning up. When I finished, we were both wet and sticky from my drink. Our excellent waiter immediately brought me a new glass along with crayons and a coloring book. While my daughter entertained herself with her new toy, Melissa and I chatted, laughed, and shared our frustrations of having our then Navy husbands gone.

Despite the earlier splash adventure, we managed to enjoy the time we had together.

The next day Melissa called me and said she was impressed with my calmness and patience when Paige spilled my drink. “I don’t know how you do it, and I would’ve gone crazy and want to leave,” Melissa voiced to me. 

Say What?

Looking back on that day, all I wanted to do was run away from the restaurant and hide in a corner to question why I didn’t bring toys, even if it was just a coloring book, for my child.  A good mom would have done that.

Yes, I was seriously thinking this.

In my eyes, I had failed at keeping my child distracted so she wouldn’t spill my drink.  I was anything but calm at the moment.

I know I can be calm in a situation. But I fail on many occasions.

Can you relate?

Winging it as a Mom

staying calm

In those moments when calmness eludes me and panic sets in, all I want to do is call or text Jeff with my aggravation. ( mind you this happened 23 years ago, there was no texting or emojis) If something like that would’ve happened now, I would’ve expressed myself on the phone or texted him with those little emojis.

But aren’t we all like that?  As a mom, I will get emotional, state my reason for getting upset and look for a solution anything from grounding to something that will bring unhappy consequences.

Even today, raising two adult girls and a teenager, I’m on a wing and a prayer when it comes to motherhood and life. My take-off and landing percentage is about 50% between smooth and rocky. But in my struggles and many seasons of motherhood, I’ve learned a few things about myself:

1. Take time for yourself. Do something every day for you. When my child spills a drink, or my teenager acts out, it’s then when I go hide in my bathroom or go outside, breathe, and remind myself that this too will pass.

2. Do your best. Try not to nag yourself with thoughts of “I messed up.” I’ll give all my best in this season of my life.  I also look to others for help and support because I’ve learned my best isn’t necessarily a solo job.

3. Laugh. Laugh at those spills, those arguments. I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes. There are days where I want to cry and be mad.  In the end, all that stuff eventually works its self out.

I’m glad I’ve learned these things about myself as I’m constantly putting them into action. Just last week, I  got upset with my son, raised my voice and threw a shoe. Don’t worry I didn’t throw anything at my teenager, but oh boy, I wanted to! It was about respect, homework, and boundaries. All the big issues that are at the forefront of raising a teenager.  I was anything but calm! ( Melissa are you reading this?)

When my rage passed, – a couple hours later- I used these things I learned of walking away, telling myself I’m not perfect in the way I reacted, and eventually laughed to calm myself down.

Packed with Expectations

Although there are days when I’m calm, whether it was sitting in that restaurant many years ago or today, I still struggle as a mom:

  • The expectations I put on myself.
  • The comparison game I play against other mothers.
  • The guilt I carry in my less-than-calm reactions.

But to hear my friend say she didn’t see me freak-out or scream gives me hope and encouragement. That maybe, I’m not a bad mom after all.

So hang on to that. Whatever season you’re traveling in remember to carry with you a bag of grace, hope, love. You might even bring a shoe or two to throw at something, not someone. LOL!

We all fly a plane packed with mom challenges. I’d love to know what your challenges are and if you’ve been encouraged by someone. Leave a comment and let’s start a mom conversation.

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fullsizeoutput_4b1 Take-off and Landings, Always, Tiffany