Before I jetted out the door to pick up my handsome navigator, I did a quick wipe down of the kitchen counter of any crumbs, finger marks, and coffee spills. When we arrived back to the homeland, I positioned myself sitting on our kitchen bar stool. I began sharing with Jeff about family stuff and all the happenings. Before I knew it he promptly grabbed the kitchen rag and began to wipe the counter! Why did he need to re-clean what had already been cleaned?
As I watched him perform his kitchen cleaning ritual, I found myself wanting to say something that would probably change the whole loving feeling.
Girlfriend, this was not a one-time occurrence; this occurred for a few months! Not only that, but the infamous kitchen rag found a little travel companion-a dish towel was also included in my pilot’s need to tidy up. A double whammy!
I have issues. I admit that. Let’s face it the kitchen is the heart of the home. It’s important to me that I take the time to have that welcome home feeling there for my husband’s arrival. It’s my gift to him, but when he comes in after me and does it all again, that’s when the momma bear in me comes out.
Being a PW, I take pride that I’m independent, and I’ve developed skills in running/controlling a household. I know that I’m not the perfect PW, I struggle. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
So what’s all the drama in the kitchen about?
1. I like to place the dishrag folded over the sink. Jeff prefers to put it on the kitchen faucet.
2. The dish towel has a towel rack below the sink. He likes to dock the towel over the dish rack.
The longer I flew around with the frustrations of things not being where they’re supposed to be (or where I think they should be), I began to form an immediate response of resentment that would continue to repeat in my mind like a broken record.
How was I going to turn off the switch?
In those struggles, I’ve come to realize that I should work on picking my battles and be willing to accept his habits and placements of things. I know he’d do the same with me.
Making a change in my approach
As I became more and more aware of the blurred vision I was developing, I had to think of ways I could match my outlook with expectations.
I set the tone for my home. The way I react effects all those around.
Ask myself, who am I really doing it for?
Evaluate ways to approach my thoughts in how I’m viewing things.
“We won’t develop new responses until we develop new thoughts.”
I needed to retrain my brain and my attitude and not necessarily my husband, to my way of thinking and doing things. When it comes down to it, I can’t make my husband place a towel a certain way or a dishrag. However, I can control how I feel and react. I choose whether my thoughts are destructive or constructive.
As PWs we have the mindset of taking charge when our husbands are away. That’s a great attribute to have! Letting some of that go while he’s home can be a challenge at times. But as wives, it’s important that we are flexible and willing to veer off course and let him take controls. In doing so, we’ve created a show of respect and love as they make their entrance back into our little abode.
So what was the solution?
As I was reevaluating the kitchen control Nazi that I was representing, I started to change my attitude. Yes, I could have nagged and complained, but that’s not going to get me anywhere:
“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a disagreeing quarrelsome, and scolding woman.” ( Proverbs 21:9 The Message)
So rather than looking at it as if he was coming into my space and taking over, I realized that he was taking the time to clean the kitchen, dry the dishes and help any way needed. Instead of allowing my frustrations to enter in, I needed to offer grace and flexibility rather than assuming I was being corrected. Not only did I need to bring that attitude to the kitchen but with the kids and the remote control.
I’m sure us PWs have our own little control issues whether it be the kitchen rag placement, determine who’s responsible for the cooking, or agreeing where his suitcase should land when he walks in the door. (Girl, that’s a whole different post). But that’s the lives we live as PWs, and I’m sure we wouldn’t want it any other way.
Needless to say, after some prayerful thoughts of a happy home, a happy wife I bought a sponge that fits inside my stainless steel sink cubby box. Now I have his and her kitchen towels. As a wife of a pilot, there’s got to be some give and take, wouldn’t you agree?
Do you have issues when it comes to controlling, even over something as simple as a kitchen rag? Leave a comment below. I’m sure we can all learn from each other.
Takeoff and Landings, Always, Tiffany
Hop on over and join The Takeoff and Landings Facebook