“Self-care needs to be included in what you should be doing. It’s not a privilege. It is a necessity!”
A few weeks ago I posted this question to pilot wives, What would you want to learn in a Self-care 101 class? The top answers were: to ask for help, take time for yourself and more importantly how to give yourself grace.
I had one wife share, “I would love to learn to do what I want to without worrying about how it affects everyone else. It’s hard to put myself first; I worry about my family, not getting what they need. They probably need a happier mom/wife before anything. So complicated!”
With a husband who travels one of the most important things I can do for my family is to take time to invest in what brings me personal fulfillment. I”m not saying that I do that all the time. I don’t! But I try.
How I Failed Self-Care 101
Last week I woke up in the wee’s hours of the morning, in excruciating pain. It hurt to move my neck from side to side and l had a sharp pain under my right shoulder blade. I had no idea what I had done. I must have had a wild dream!
When the sun was finally up, I debated calling my chiropractor. Yes, I debated! However, after enduring a few more minutes of pain, I quickly scheduled an appointment. After the snap, crack and pop I finally felt some relief.
At my recent appointment, Jeff was with me. After my doctor left the massage therapist came into the room to do therapy on my shoulder. She looked at me and said, “Tiffany, you need a massage, a full body massage, and I’m not taking no for an answer!” (her exact words) She went on to explain why I needed one and that there was opening right now!
So what did I do? Once again I had an internal debate:
- No, I don’t have time.
- Jeff is with me, and I don’t want him to wait.
- I need to go home, I have so much to do.
Seriously, these were my thoughts racing through my head!
Finally, after a few minutes, I took a deep breath and followed my therapist to the massage table. An hour later I felt so much better, and I walked out feeling like myself again!
When I got back home, I apologized to Jeff for staying longer than expected. He looked at me and told me that he didn’t mind waiting, especially if it made me feel better.
At that moment I learned it’s okay to take the time for myself.
Taking Care of Myself is a Required Class
Let’s face it, we all have struggles rather it be
- Communication with our spouse,
- The I can’t do it all feeling.
- Raising our kiddo’s in those sola-parent times when our husband is away from home.
In that 8-hour space that sometimes it seems we don’t have time to care for ourselves.
Is’nt in those moments that we should offer ourselves grace.
Over the years I have learned that life is so much better when I take care of myself.
Last year a friend of mine recommended Fringe Hours: Making Time for You by Jessica Turner. She writes-“Self-care is something we should be doing.” It’s important that we take the time to allow ourselves to do so.”
Can I get an AMEN?
Show up for Class
Now that school has started, and routines and structure have entered back into our lives, maybe we should take some time for ourselves. In fact, we should make that a habit and routine.
“If we invest in ourselves in small ways we will begin to see results.”
If I I learned from writing this post and reading Jessica’s book, it’s that I have to be intentional with my time and take ownership of it.
For me, this means:
1. Scheduling time on my calendar to write rather than rather than trying to do it when I think I have time. (I’m sure my editor would appreciate that)
2. Reading, but not just before bed. Taking a book with me wherever I find myself waiting, instead of looking at social media.
3. Working out. I need to stop making excuses that I don’t have 30 minutes. I do!
4. Taking the initiative to call a friend for lunch or a cup of coffee or wine.
For you, it might be entirely different. All I can say is, my PW you deserve to take the time for yourself!
That is your first assignment for Self-care 101.
(If you’d like to hear more about this great book, you can check out this podcast where Jessica shares her story.)
In what small ways can you invest in yourself?
Hop on over and join The Takeoff and Landings Facebook
Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany