When Was Your Last Yes?

Have you heard the saying, “Let your no be no and your yes be yes”? Last week I owned my no and my yes! It felt good to do that.

If I said, ”No” I would’ve have missed out on something beautiful.

Like any other workday, my husband called me around 4:30 pm when he had landed.  Seeing his name on my phone, I was ready to walk out the door to make my way to the airport to bring him home. However, the second I answered, he informed me that he was rerouted.  He went on to say that he’d made a listing for me to fly away with him on an 18 hour overnight!  Before I could decline his offer, he asked me to make arrangements at the kennel for the dog,  pack an overnight bag, and meet him at the airport at 6:00. Our flight was leaving at 7:30.

Saying yes post

Girlfriend, I had to move fast! There was no time for me to think about all the reasons for saying no, cause I had a few:

1. The Kennel would be closing at 5:30. There was no way they would let me bring the dog in this late, let alone have room for her. (They did!)

2. I’d made plans to go over to a girlfriend’s house where she had put together a little gathering for us wedge of friends at 6:00. I knew my PW girlfriend would understand. When I texted her about this unexpected adventure with my pilot, she encouraged me to go, go, go!

3. And if  I were to say yes, how am I going to pack a bag in less than an hour? While at the same time thinking of things I had not gotten done and trying to remember if I’d brought my make-up and deodorant.  Deodorant was important cause I was sweating with nerves.

4. What if I went to all this trouble only to arrive at the airport to find out that Jeff had been rerouted again and I was left alone with my luggage?

Do you ever have those silly thoughts or reasons to say no?

To ease your mind, all went according to plan, and my navigator swept me off my feet for an overnight. It was a first in a looooong time.

My yes was beautiful!Saying yes post (2)

Sometimes plan, sometimes wing it

I’m all about planning, but there are times, many times, that I will sabotage the idea of winging it, only to regret later that I did.

I can’t remember the last time I flew off on an overnight with my husband, much less be on the same airplane he was flying. That was the icing on the cake!  We had the best time, laughing, talking, and just being together.  That wouldn’t have happened if I’d waited to plan out the event rather than acting spontaneously.

In her book, “The Best Yes,” Lysa Terkeurst says, “If we are going to live in the thrilling place of Best Yes opportunities, we must cut the but of lies chaining us to insecurities.” How many times have I let “but” stand in my way? But this, but that, but I need.

Every time I make a choice saying no to something to say yes or visa verse, I’m choosing to make something a little different than before, like I did this past weekend. I hope I’m learning to do it more so in the future.  That call that I thought was to pick up Jeff made a sudden spontaneous turn around; this time I was driving to the airport to take-off with him.

How to carry your yes bag

The other day I landed on a verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG):

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

That afternoon, it wasn’t for me to figure everything out on my own, even though my heart started beating fast and my brain started thinking, “ Oh my, I can’t do this; I don’t have time.”

It was then that I took a deep breath, listened to my heart (which was saying, “Go!”) and made memories that will last a lifetime.

We seem to always hear or read reasons to say no, but what about yes?

Saying yes post (1)Saying yes is about being courageous to do the things that we want to do. Let’s face it sometimes we say no cause of fear. 

Why do we do that?

1. We tuck away that opportunity because we believe it’s not the perfect timing. When was the last time it was the perfect timing to go on a trip? Say yes to meeting a friend for coffee or dinner? When I say no to something, I usually regret missing out on the fun.

2. There are always reasons to say no. A no should be clear and obvious. We know when we should say no to something, but shouldn’t we also listen to our little cheerleader inside of us for the yes from time to time? We know she is often correct.  My cheerleader had her pompoms and was cheering me to take that flight. When I had little ones at home, it was hard to do things on spur of the moment. I’ve been there- many times! All I can say is to listen to that inner cheerleader.

3. Opportunities don’t always come again like this. I would’ve regretted not saying yes when my husband took the controls in planning an overnight that I could go on.  He saw the opportunity and embraced it. I needed to do the same. When those invitations arise, it does take effort and planning, but in the end, it’s worth it.  PW, I’ve learned that the hard way.

 In what ways can you say yes when the spontaneous arrives at your doorstep? You might have to say no to something, but in the end, I’m sure it would be beautiful. 

IMG_3765 Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

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How to Discover Your Next Steps When You’re Re-routed.

 

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If I had a dollar whenever someone asked me where Jeff was flying to, I’d be one wealthy woman!  The majority of the time, I tell people, “I have no idea. His route changes all the time because of weather, late arrivals, or they need him to fly a different trip then was scheduled. There’s no set route.” ( Go here to read more PW questions I get asked.)

As much as we like predictability in life, we know that life is anything but predictable. There are always constant changes and re-routes thrown our way.

So, my PW girlfriend, let me ask you… Do you fly the same route? Do you have a specific itinerary for your day, your week, or even the next five years?

I know, I know. You must be thinking – Wait, you’re kidding, right?

I feel as if I always have to shift my routing from one place to another. Whether it’s five minutes, a week, or the next five years, I’m still thinking and praying about what’s next.

What’s the best route for me?

This morning I listened to a podcast, “Girls Night Out,” with Stephanie Wilson.  The guest speaker was Emily P. Freeman, who was sharing how she discovered what the “Next Right Thing” was for her. In other words, what is the next best route for me at this time in my life,  and for the season I’m in?

Listening to Emily, I started to question what my next step was. What do I need to be doing or changing in my life right now? It can be making goals you want to accomplish, losing weight, pursuing a career, or opening a business. It’s your journey.

next steps re-routed

  What’s my direction?

We all find ourselves planning, preparing, and making a check-list for our day-to-day operations. But when life throws us off course, and we are to figure out how to bring back focus, that’s when Emily said, “Ask yourself what makes sense to me today?”

Thinking about that, I asked myself what makes the most sense for me right now and remembered I needed to take the clothes out of the dryer. ( literally, I was thinking that)

But yet, I still have more important questions about the bigger things in my life. What makes sense for me to focus on today or a month from now, six months, or even a year from now?

Recently I’ve struggled to figure out what’s next in certain aspects of my life. To be honest, some of them cause my anxiety levels to rise, but at the same time, I find myself more courageous as I pursue the things that really matter to me :

1. What to do about my writing journey? I’ve been writing continuously for a year now, and I’ve seen myself evolving and changing the way I think and write. I’ve been more willing to share my struggles and vulnerability that wasn’t there before. Don’t get me wrong I still struggle with opening up my heart. But as I sit down at my computer and search for the words that will bring hope and love to other women, I’m compelled to keep moving forward.

2. What can I do to bring hospitality back into my life?  A Book Club, Supper Club, something that allows me to open my heart and doors to a community of women who enjoy reading, eating, and sharing the love of God. But being hospitable requires courage to step out, invite others to join me, and let go of my control. (which is a whole another  story!).

3. What is the next step in my season of parenting a teenage boy? I often find myself on my knees, praying for wisdom and direction. At the moment, I’m fearful of where God’s path may be in leading us concerning our son’s next season of life. Letting go and trusting that God knows what is my son’s best thing is hard.

When is all said and done, the heart question I need to be asking is: Am I willing to change my route, or am I going to stay grounded in fear?  Sometimes that is a difficult question to ask.

These are the things that have me questioning my current flight path and the possibility of re-routing. I have to approach things differently as a woman, a mom, and a wife. For you, it might be something else.

next steps re-routed (1)

There are days when turbulent moments/events will happen.  When they do, I remind myself  of one of my favorite go-to verses: “Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.” Proverbs 3:6 CEV 

When it comes to offering advice on the best possible route or step someone should take, I’ll admit, I’m no expert. When I question my path, I rely on God to show me. He always makes it clear to me what my next route is.

What will you choose when things change, and you’ve to consider when life is re-routed? What will be your next step be?

fullsizeoutput_4b1   Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany

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The Passengers of my Life

The Passengers of my Life

With my coffee in hand, I sat down at my desk, powered up my laptop, and clicked on Facebook. Scrolling through my newsfeed, I noticed that one of my posts from Takeoff and Landings was shared on a PW’s page; I couldn’t help but get a little giddy.

Wow! Someone must have liked what I’d written.

However, within seconds of viewing their post, there were some negative comments that a few people felt compelled to share.  To me, it felt like a dozen people were stating their opinion, but in reality, there were only one or two. Unfortunately, for them, they didn’t agree with my Christian viewpoints as it was related to being a Pilot’s wife.

Needless to say, my day had vastly taken a nose dive and landed hard with tears of negativity and doubt.

Have you ever encountered those types of passengers showing up and choosing to sit right next to you?

Those two “wonderful passengers” (sarcastic tone) grabbed a seat and within minutes became a thorn in my side. They stole my armrest, talked non-stop in my ears and wouldn’t let me have a moments peace. Sadly, it was a long, long, flight for me. That lasted a week!

I flew head-on into a self-pity mode. This wasn’t the first time I’ve boarded a plane only to sit next to those travelers who have caused me to run into the lavatory and cry.

I’m sure we’ve all been there.

When we find ourselves wandering with those passages in our lives, that’s when we should look for the Manual of Emotions and process the situation. 

Here are a few examples of rowdy passengers you might want to look for:

Negativity Nancy. She can arrive at a moments notice, reaching for the call button and telling you that you’re not experienced enough or questioning your position to say things. 

Those critical and negative comments hurt. Ultimately I found myself crying in my closet, feeling like I had a failed landing.

Doubter Debbie. She will plague you with questions of why? how? and are you sure? She’ll take the controls and leave you doubting your actions.

Debbie had me in full-speed confusion about sharing my story. She was spewing excuses into my headset about why I shouldn’t be doing what I love to do.

When seated next to these types of passengers, what’s a girl supposed to do?

My Manual of thoughts

When I come across these type of tourists, ones who like to play with my thoughts and emotions, it’s then I have to pull out my Life Operation Manual and figure out the best way to navigate the situation. Here’s what I’ve read and learned:

  • Maintain Control of the feelings that arrive in our thoughts.

I recall reading — “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business …, You believe in your creations…  they deserve to be out in the world.  You create because you have a God-given ability to do so.” (Rachel Hollis Girl, Wash your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are)   Armed with that encouragement, I decided to have a better perspective and outlook!

  • Analyze the problem: what is really causing the problem? It is the cynical passengers’ or something else?
  • Take appropriate Action: by looking for someone to talk to or ask for a hug.
  • Maintain Awareness of our surroundings. Stand firm to your goals and trust God to help you what He has called you accomplish.

This life is not easy peasy. It takes prayer and lots of grace and mercy.  I have a story to share, and maybe, just maybe, one PW or two PW’s might be able to relate and say,”That’s where I am! I really needed to hear that!”

One of my favorite authors said, “Negative thoughts lead to a crisis response-activating us physically but hindering our thinking. Positive thoughts allow us to process a situation accurately and respond in a healthy way”.

Are we going to let those contradictory passengers take over our flight? Or are we going to seek out those that bring us the courage and strength to get back on course?

Who I want to travel with

When I find myself squished tightly between Negativity Nancy and Doubting Debbie, it’s then that I can choose to leave my current seat and search for those passengers who can lift me up instead of tearing me down.

Here are the types of seat-mates I would much rather fly with:

Focus Frances. She can help us get back on track by reminding us that we have value and importance to those around us. “Frances” can focus our vision and help us live our best PW life. Thankfully, I didn’t have to search too hard for my “ Frances.” I reached for the intercom and called out to my wedge of friends to vent while sipping a glass of wine. By doing so, I was able to look out the window and see the blue sky of encouragement.

Goal setting Ginger.   Not only is she there to pull me out of the depths of self-pity, but “Ginger” reminds me of my final destination and helps me re-evaluate what I’m doing.  When I was shot down by someone or something that caused me to reroute my thinking, I had to find the ticket that had my goals written on them, showing me a first-class seat in life.

In those days of flying around in my self-pity cloud of discouragement, I recall a scripture that I highlighted in my bible, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable.” (Philippians 4:8 NLT)

“What we put into our minds determines what comes out in words and actions.”

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “What we put into our minds determines what comes out in words and actions.” I was allowing those negatives comments to shut down my engine (mind) and stay that way.  I had to ask God to help me find my focus ( the keys) to start back up and fly into what I’m called to do.

I won’t lie to you and say I immediately go to God and ask for help. It takes practice, and I have to practice every day.

As I make my descent and final landing, I’m learning I don’t need the approval of many or even one. I write, look at the flight plan God has put in front of me and fly with that. When I do that, it’s a much smoother journey.

What about you, what sort of passengers in your life have you come in contact with?

Love to hear from you and maybe we can help each other as we carve this PW life. Just leave a comment below.

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fullsizeoutput_4b1Whether you’re seated next to your pilot in the right or left seat of life, we are flying and taking off and landing together. Flying alongside my pilot for over 25 years I have found a sense of courage, discovered independence that I thought I did not have and developed a better understanding that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.  Maybe you want those things too. You have come to the right place.

  Take-off and Landings Always, Tiffany